Hocus Pocus and Bobby’s Blog – Sometimes Featuring Duck and Dewey

Duck. Sadness. Cry. Series.

Here’s what happened to Duck a little while ago. I didn’t wanna break the news to you, but now I have to face the truth.

My BESTEST FRIEND Duck, uh d..i..e..d.. Oh, man I’m gonna cry.. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So here’s what happened.. One day I hadn’t seen Duck in about 2 months so i called him up, and his mom answered.. when I asked if Duck could come over she was like:

Ms. Dittie: Who? What? Huh? Duck? Who’s Duck? Oh you mean Kittie.. I’ll bring Kittie over at about noon. Ok?

Me: NO! I mean Duck. You know who that is!

Ms. Dittie: I do not know who the heck whoever that.. that.. du.. du.. dum, dumb Duck is!

Me: Well then, how come you stuttered when you said it.

Ms. Dittie: Fine. Sit down. This is going to be shocking, very shocking.

Me: Wait.. Oh no. Go on. I mean stop. Well, keep going.

Ms. Dittie: Ok.. so one day I t.. t.. took Duck to the mountains. We hiked around, had a picnic, and.. well.. he..

Me: He fell off.

Ms. Dittie: Pr.. pre.. pretty much. And he..

Me: Passed Away. I’m sorry.

Ms. Dittie: Maybe you could come over later. Duck is, well was, VERY smart. He wrote his will at age 3!!!

Me: Was I included?

Ms. Dittie: Yes. I have a present for you. You know Duck was sooo talented! He learned how to walk before he learned how 2 crawl! Also his talking was quite impressive..

So she keeps going on and on about Duck’s great past, .. BLA BLA BLA.. SICKO! You know what else? They didn’t invite me, Bobby, or Dewey to the funeral! His parents didn’t want to break the news to us. They didn’t even invite his own sister, Kittie.. oh well he hated her anyway. I hope Abracadabra isn’t invited to my funeral, and I wish Kittie died instead of Duck, then Abracadabra would be going through this not me! So meanwhile, Ms. Dittie is going on and she gets to the end of his biography and starts crying.

Ms. Dittie: .. and at age 10 he dies! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: I’m sorry, I really am. I better break the news to my mom. Goodbye.

Ms. Dittie: Come over tomorrow, okay, Duck wanted you to have this. Bye.

The next day, I came over to Duck’s house and I convinced the gang – Bobby, Dewey, Izzie and Lizzie and Abracadabra to come with me, ’cause I was.. well, scared. When I broke the news to the guys they were like:

Bobby: Oh. Wow. My gosh.


That was Dewey’s reaction when his toy puppy’s head fell off.


Izzie: Uh… I don’t know what to say.. I’m sorry

Abracadabra: Who cares?

When we got to.. HIS house, Bobby was silently crying with Izzie.. everyone was sad, really sad. At his house his mom beckoned the gang over.

Ms. Dittie: Ah, I see you invited your FRIENDS over to share the news… I have something for them too, but your’s is the most important.

Me: Okay.

Dewey: Yeah! Cool!

Bobby: (Gave Dewey A LOOK!)

Lizzie: Oh no, I bet my boyfriend is missing me right now.

Abracadabra: Who cares?

Izzie: (rolls her eyes at Lizzie) Hocus, Are you okay? He was your best friend.

Me: (on the verge of tears.. sob, sob, cry, cry, sob, cry, cry, sob!)

We walked over to Duck’s room. It’s was a timeline! It had memories of his whole life! There were SO many pictures of him with the gang, and mostly him with me.

Over on the side their was a piece of paper on top of a bunch of boxes. Bobby went over to investigate.

Bobby: (read aloud ) To HocusPocus-my bestfriend, I am going to miss you very, very much. You are my only best friend and I hate my sister. You are the only one I can do stuff with and for that I have given you

Ms. Dittie: (interrupting) I see you have found the will without me.

Dewey: (widening his eyes anxiously, he nodded fast)

Bobby: (continues reading) my Automatic Gold Platinum Calculator with Topaz Keys – it automatically solves your problem ( even if it isn’t math ) with it’s pop – out hand that types the keys so you don’t smudge the topaz part! And my favorite bejewled stool – the stool moves with you so you can sit down whenever you want.

Me: Wow! Yeah!

Ms. Dittie: (hands him the calculator and pushes the stool to him)

Bobby: Next up is.. Dewey! (Reads Aloud) To Dewey – You are the weirdest BFK I have ever met.

Dewey: (gets tears in his eyes)

Bobby: (still reading) Over the years of my life, I have thought hard of what you would want from me in my will. I figured out something to give you that has come to much use to me for a very long time and I present to you my silver blankie.

Dewey: (Gets a HUGE smile upon his face, and dances around happily) I am so HAPPY!!!!

Ms. Dittie: (hands him the blanket.)

Bobby: Next is… me! (READS) To Bobby – As soon as I saw your face, and met you, I knew what I would give you in my will and that special thing is an antique, it is so valuable, I know you’ll like this. I am going to give you the oldest version of Video-Game Animal World III! (stops reading and reacts) Wow! That is soo awesome!

Ms. Dittie: (hands him the game)

Bobby: (keeps reading) Next up is.. Izzie! To Izzie – I think you’re going to like this present.. I know you like sports so I’m going to give you my favorite gold basketball, it was the one that I used for my first basket!

Izzie: That is SO great! I’ll always remember Duck when I use it!

Bobby: Next up is.. Lizzie (reads aloud) Last and certainly Least – Lizzie, I hate you, a lot! So much that I’m going to give you something I hate. I present to you.. Kittie!

Lizzie: That’s so romantic! (GETS ON HER KNEES) You know, when i die, we can go see Love In France – my Favorite Chick Flick – in heaven!!

Ms. Dittie: (hands a sleeping Kittie to Lizzie)

Bobby: (keeps reading) To Abracadabra – You get my dirty underwear.

While walking home, I tried to figure out how to work the calculator. “Duck said in the letter that I could figure out any kind of problem, even if it isn’t math,” I thought “Maybe if I speak a question to it it’ll type in a code or something for me so it tells me the answer on the screen! I’ll try it!”

Me: Can you bring Duck back?

The calculator automatically punched in some numbers. I realized it was Duck’s phone number: 456 – 239, combined with his birthday: 07-23-98, so it was: 456239072398!

On the screen it said “What do you mean? Master Duck is dead? He’s lost? Yes we can bring him back from wherever he is.”

Master Duck? I thought

Me: Guys come look at this!

Bobby: It, it says you can bring Duck back to life!

Dewey: (gets all hyper and excited!) Wowie WOW WOW! Is that really possible!!! Yeah!

Abracadabra: Who cares?


Izzie: Wow! Really?

Did you hear me, Hocus Pocus? TURN THE VOLUME UP!”

Omg! It knows my name! Quickly, i turned the volume up. Out of the speakers you would hear shouting.

Calculator with Topaz keys: (shouting) HELLO? Where is Master Duck?

Me: He’s gone.

Calculator with Topaz keys: (shouting) What do you mean he’s GONE? Where’d he go?

Me: To a better place.

Calculator with Topaz keys: (shouting) Where? Hawaii? New York?

Me: He’s dead.

Calculator with Topaz keys: (shouting) Oh.

Me: You don’t need to shout.

Calculator with Topaz keys: (shouting) It’s built in me. Yes, I do.

Bobby: Tell us how to get Duck back to life.

Calculator with Topaz keys: (shouting) Yes! You’ll need to sit down.

Dewey: Why-ee?

Calculator with Topaz keys: (shouting) Just do it.

Dewey: But why-eee?

Calculator with Topaz keys: (shouting) I don’t know. Just go.

Dewey: Hmph! I am waiting for a logical explanation.

Calculator with Topaz keys: (shouting) Fine. To rest with the body supported by the buttocks or thighs; be seated.

Dewey: But why? To rest?

Calculator with Topaz keys: (shouting) Sure, whatever.

Me: Oh My God!

Bobby: Just tell us, already!

Calculator with Topaz keys: Take a small piece of a valuable item given to you by Master Duck.

I took the stool. I cried. But I.. BROKE IT.

“Duck,” I thought “I’m sorry I had to do that, but I, had to. This is for you. Because, I miss you.”

Me: ( I yelled ) Here! Happy? I can’t believe I did that! Waaa!

Calculator with Topaz keys: Don’t be dumb! I wouldn’t do that if it would grow back!

Amazed, I watched the leg of the stool grow back.

Me: Oh.

Calculator with Topaz keys: Ha ha! Told ya! Burn!

Me: What do I do next?

Calculator with Topaz keys: All of you have to cut your arms off and give it to me.

The gang: WHAT?!?!

Calculator with Topaz keys: Ha ha. Just kidding.

Bobby: But that would’ve been COOL!

Me: Nuh – uh!

Bobby: Ya – huh!

Me: Nuh – uh!

Bobby: Ya – huh!

Me: Nuh – uh!

Bobby: Ya – huh!

Me: Nuh – uh!

Bobby: Ya – huh!

Me: Nuh – uh!

Bobby: Ya – huh!

Me: Nuh – uh!

Bobby: Ya – huh!

Me: Nuh – uh!

Bobby: Ya – huh!

Me: Nuh – uh!

Bobby: Ya – huh!

Me: Nuh – uh!

Bobby: Ya – huh!

Me: Nuh – uh!

Bobby: Ya – huh!

Me: Nuh – uh!

Bobby: Ya – huh!

Me: Nuh – uh!

Bobby: Ya – huh!

Me: Nuh – uh!

Bobby: Ya – huh!

Me: Nuh – uh!

Bobby: Ya – huh!

Dewey: STOP!

Bobby: No!

Dewey: Yes!

Bobby: No!

Dewey: Yes!

Bobby: No!

Dewey: Yes!

Bobby: No!

Dewey: Yes!

Bobby: No!

Dewey: Yes!

Bobby: No!

Dewey: Yes!

Bobby: No!

Dewey: Yes!

Bobby: No!

Dewey: Yes!

Bobby: No!

Dewey: Yes!

Bobby: No!

Dewey: Yes!

Bobby: No!

Dewey: Yes!

Bobby: No!

Dewey: Yes!

Bobby: No!

Dewey: Yes!


Dewey, Bobby, and Me: Okay..

Calculator with Topaz keys: Now, we take all our change in all of your pockets, put them on top of the stool leg, and then say magic words. You will have to wait a week. Every night there will be thunder and lightning. There will be a flood, it will rise all the dirt in the world! Then Duck’s body will be uncovered, because the lightning will strike the coffin, and break it. His body will lay there quietly, once the water touches it he will be alive again, and I WILL keep your change! Muah – Ha – Ha!

Me: Wow.

Dewey: I don’t have any change.

Calculator with Topaz keys: GO GET SOME

Dewey: Make Me!

Calculator with Topaz keys: BOO!

Dewey: AAAHH! Okay, okay, I’m going!

Me: Can we do this tomorrow? I’m getting tired and sleepy.

Calculator with Topaz keys: I was about to say, that we should do it tomorrow, ’cause today’s Friday, the 13th!

Me: I’m going home, bye.

Bobby and Izzie: Bye!

Dewey to Calculator with Topaz keys: You know, people should call you Wussulator with Wussaz Keys, wuss! I could’ve done it on Friday the 13th.

Calculator with Topaz keys: BOO!

Dewey: AAHH!

Bobby: (yawns)

Me: Give me the Talking Calculator, Dewey. I’m going home.

I shut the calculator off. I needed to be alone.

Because I really wasn’t tired at all. I had some feeling in me, that said to go home and sleep. I don’t know. It was weird.

Once, I got home, I went in to my room, quietly. I didn’t tell my mom I was back.

I went on my computer, and checked my email. Yup, lots of scary chain mail from Dewey, stuff about our website from Bobby, and wait.. OMG! There was an email from Duck? Whoa!

What did it say? I opened it quickly, and locked the door, so Abracadabra or my mom wouldn’t come bursting in.

Duck’s email said:

Hi, it’s Duck.

Hocus, did my mom tell you what really happened when I died? Did you check our wordpress site, and see the post I wrote? It’s called Idead.

Are you wondering if this is a spam from Bobby, or Dewey? It’s not I swear!

This is gonna sound weird, but, that feeling you had today? I sent it in your body, from heaven, because I wanted you to check your email, and see this note.

That feeling.. I feel it too. But, my feeling tells me that you guys are gonna save me. This also is gonna sound weird. Right now I’m working on my Idead laptop, one of the benefits of being dead! You get high-speed internet. It’s weird. You know what heaven looks like? The shower.. it isn’t fun! And how I died? My mom always tells the story very simple, but I know the detailed version.

One day me and my mom went to the mountains. It was a HUGE LONG ride there. We got out of the car and walked around for a bit, but then we decided to sit down by the tip of the mountain. My mom announced she had to use the bathroom and it was a long distance from where we were then so she told me to wait outside of the bathroom. Standing up, I slipped on a puddle of some kid’s vomit or something with little chunks in it, and fell, hanging on the tip of the mountain. My mom saw me and rushed to the tip, she tried pulling me upward but she really had to go to the bathroom.. well long story short – she peed on me, the pee made my hands slippery, and I fell. The End

Believe it or not, even though heaven does look like a shower it doesn’t have any running water .i.e. It’s still on my hands, and now I’m getting it all over the computer keys.

Well, I miss you guys, and if I do come back, I want you to keep the stuff from my will. Btw, I wrote most of this stuff in the post IDead, so you don’t have to read it. Anyway, there’s no movie theater in heaven, so tell all about the new movie, Pigs on Mars (Chimps in Space) ! And have you seen Camp Pop? (Camp Rock) Or maybe Tie Kwun Doe Cowda (Kung Fu Panda) I saw you guys’ videos. They’re getting good. Okay.. I hope you save me.. No pressure! Duck.

I replied:

Duck? Duck?

I miss you SO MUCH! That’s so sad, how you died! Eew! But, that’s so freaky, how you get that feeling, too!

I know this isn’t a spam, ’cause I didn’t tell Bobby or Dewey about that feeling!

Camp Pop, was good, but Pigs on Mars was better, but Tie Kwun Doe Cowda was the BEST!

Sorry, I can’t say anything else, but I don’t know what to write to a dead dude.

You should email your mom, she keeps saying, ” I hope Duckie doesn’t talk to strangers in heaven! Did he wash his hands? Does he remember not to slurp? I hope he makes a good impression with god!”

She really worries about you. I miss you.


I went and looked at the post..

It was kind of weird. I was stressed. Even though Duck can probably hear my thoughts, he’s really counting on me to save him! What if, I can’t? I mean, it seems impossible, and in the morning I ALSO have to help Dewey find some change!

I felt sharp pain. I screamed in pain! But then some kind of force closed my eyes for me. There he was, on the insides of my eyelids, Duck.

Duck: I’m sorry! I’m putting you under so much pressure! I just have that feeling. I’m taking your advice, and emailing mom. If you’re wondering how I got inside your eyelids, this computer is really cool! not only does it have high speed internet, but some really cool features I’m playing around with right now. I press a random button, and it says “Do you need to make an important message to someone? Say their name.” So I said HocusPocus and it gave me a list of body parts, you don’t wanna know, and I chose eyelids. Anyway, I’m entertained for now, so if you don’t save me, I can freak people out by appearing on their eyelids and keep myself entertained. So I only have a 5 minute time limit, and this is all I can say for now ‘cuz you can’t talk back to me. Try. You can’t. Oh, one more thing. Don’t say anything to anyone else about me appearing here, or sending you an email. So I guess I gotta go. Bye!

I tried to talk to him before he left but no sound got out.


Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. IDead « Hocuspocushatesabracadabra’s Weblog pingbacked on 9 years, 10 months ago


  1. * Emma Stephenson says:

    That was very strange… It was sad, but strange. Strange strange strange… and are you going to put the Chinchilla on the website or not?

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago
  2. * Emma Stephenson says:

    May I suggest putting Harry Potter Puppet Pals On your website? Maybe slow motion and sped up? Just a suggestion!

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago
  3. ok but i need 2 find out how 2 do that..

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago
  4. * Mysterious Person says:

    Wow may I suggest that u make a video of that and put it on here?

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 10 months ago
  5. okay.. I can try that.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 10 months ago
  6. * mo says:


    | Reply Posted 9 years, 10 months ago
  7. * bfkrox says:

    Hey HP how come you haven’t written anything on Duck.Sadness.Cry.Series for like, 15 days?

    Reply: Yeah, sorry about that. I’ve been busy lately.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 10 months ago
  8. WOW.
    Is he like a boy, or a real duck………………………kittie???? i so ssoooooo sssssoooooooooo sorry……………

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 9 months ago
  9. or is this about webkinz????
    i am confused

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 9 months ago

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